Is this the most beautifully optimistic Manchester City fan in the world, the bravest, or just the dimmest? The mystery endures.
Who could have predicted that ultra-disciplined Rafa Benitez wouldn't fancy James Rodriguez at Everton?! What's that? We all did? Literally all of us? Sounds about right.
AC Milan are the latest club to show an interest apparently.
Anyone who watched the horrifically absorbing 'Sunderland 'till I Die' series on Netflix will have watched the hapless owners move heaven, earth, and literally millions of actual pounds sterling to bring Will Grigg to Wearside.
Let's check in on how it's going...
Let the record show: Callum Hudon-Odoi's developement didn't stall because of injuries or lack of game time at Chelsea. He just refused to improve. REFUSED.
Is £11million a good deal for Eddie Nketiah when he is out of contract in a year? It's really hard to tell anymore. He's scored four Premier Legaue goals in two years, if you were wondering. Maybe Arsenal have been holding him back, though...